Article by Kyle Powers
Washington D.C. - The Secretary of Energy Jennifer Granholm announced on tuesday that in conjunction with other world government officials, despite the current push for advancement of alternative energy sources, and the recent rubber stamping of new nuclear power plant construction in Ohio, Nuclear power has been found to be the most inefficient form of Green energy because no one can explain how it works.
“When it comes down to it, I’ve talked to a lot of experts on Twitter and none of them could explain to me how Nuclear energy worked either, but we all agreed one thing, radiation is scary and we don’t need to be getting our electricity from that when we can just buy batteries from the store.”
When offered an explanation Secretary Granholm replied “I don’t need another person talking to me about steam and turbines, that has nothing to do with radiation and I don’t think you know what you’re talking about.”
Also at the announcement was a Non Government Organization claiming to have Government and Industry Elites among its members called “Nuclear’s Obviously Not Clean Energy” with a mission statement of “Teaching the youth the truth”, when asked for comment the attendees fled from our reporters.
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